There's a new law that says everybody has to redecorate and re-furnish their home from top to bottom. Everything has to be thrown away, all the furniture you've collected over the years, the boot fair paintings, vintage posters and mementos from your travels, all the cosy cushions, ragged rugs, curtains and throws...
Everything has to go, except for one thing from each room (your choice), and then all your surfaces are painted over in pure white paint.
At first it's a shock. Your spaces are unfamiliar, stripped of their (your) personality and warmth. But time passes and your white walls and ceilings recede. And with nothing else to distract you in your gallery-like space, your eye is drawn exclusively to that one thing you kept in the room. You see it now like you've never seen it before. Its colours are more intense, its form exposed in intimate detail.
And then you start thinking about redecoration. You have a blank canvas. You can have whatever you want. But you're getting used to this stripped-back aesthetic. What do you want?
You tentatively try a few small pieces of furniture. Light wood sits well against the unsullied purity of the white. A textured wallpaper brings depth to the wall without compromising the serenity of the space.
You love the texture and you have a sudden pang for pattern, but white feels right, so to keep the clarity you try a gentle block print on wood plank design.
Growing bolder, you put together natural wood finishes with a cool white marble wallpaper design and introduce tiny splashes of colour which leap out against the white.
Emboldened, you explore more natural surfaces – granite, plaster, wood and metal. Your walls stray to naturalistic damasks, staying just the right side of minimal, staying clam.
Gentle damask gives way to bolder geometric pattern. Monochromatic designs still lets your single statement piece shine.
Designs on a line catch your eye and you explore black and white and pop art.
Your furnishing begins to come together as you introduce a few more pieces that fit with your chosen original, building a natural look organically.
Finally your walls become a focal point in themselves, working in monochrome harmony with your fabulous furnishings.
"Wake up, wallpaperdirect! Wake up... you're dreaming..."
And we awake from our dream to our cosy but cluttered wd bedroom, and our eyes meander aimlessly over its years of accumulated and long loved mish-mash jumble of pattern and colour.
And our eyes fall on that one long loved gonk from our teenage years, and then to the clock – 3 am – and we begin to wonder.... where's can I order white paint at this time of night?